I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
