Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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