Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
