So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
