she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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