i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
