oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
kristin has been a bad kristin
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
