I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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