OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
