So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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