Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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