We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
