We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
