i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
