i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
