He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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