Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
