I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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