she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
