no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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