When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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