It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
