Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
