rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
