She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
