We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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