would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
