That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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