I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
