His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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