seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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