your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
