I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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