we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
