I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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