at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
