so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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