Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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