she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
