DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
