the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
