there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
