i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
