i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
