it was like his penis was on wheels.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
