I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
