i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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