Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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