k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
