Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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