Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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