My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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